There are certain words that leap through the air that instantly stop me.  While some are bothered by foul language or I quit…I’m deeply driven into shades of gray when surrounded by the mere mention of, “I don’t care.”  I’d rather have seven shards of glass shot through me at the speed of light then bare the thought of someone wasting their energy exposing a desire to stop trying.

Realizing there’s a point to which we all hit quickly catapults me back to a conversation with my Master in Martial Arts where he explained to us, “Today I’m going to challenge you in ways you’ll never forget.  Your first ambition will be to quit.  Your second emotion will be of anger toward yourself for not quitting.  Your third emotion will be incredible pride because you didn’t stop.”

It was a ten week challenge to face obstacles most would never attempt…the moment you quit; you were excused from the room to never return.  We started with sixteen students, only seven returned the following week.  It was a mental test to prove only one point, “How to communicate to a body that does care…its human emotion that requires the need to stop at the first sight of pain.”  Only three of us made it the entire ten weeks only to learn the biggest test would come two months later when our Master asked each of us if we had kept up with the harsh way of bringing energy to a tired mind, body and soul.  We all said, “No.” Therefore we quit…he won.  My first comment, “I don’t care.”  Using those words set up the next twelve months.  I no longer trusted and or felt like what was being presented was for our best only to learn, in looking back…all that took place during those ten weeks has made me incredibly strong in handling situations far from normal situations.

Even while growing up under the big sky in Montana, I consistently heard the easy to throw out expression, “I don’t care.”  My stepfather Joe was notorious for throwing his arms up in the air and shouting, “Do what you want…I don’t care!”  He really did care, several chapters later, now that his eight kids are officially grown up, I can easily see we drove the man into mental breakdown fits.

We face those three words daily at our workplace.  It poisons the air faster than the flu season.  When one feels a need to blurt out his emotions, every step taken by each player is nothing more than another reason to toss ourselves in the same boat…if he or she openly discusses a reason to not care…then others say neither do I, which then poisons even more people. 

We are taught in Martial Arts that any negative energy causes a breakdown of the body.  It creates sickness, fatigue; your body is hurt during normal play, muscle strains or slipped discs.  All because of what we say and how we present it to others. 

There’s a more peaceful way to express an expression.  It showcases a level of balance more than a dominating effect on negative vibrations.  Rather than say, “I don’t care.”  Simplify it by releasing, “I don’t mind.” 

“I don’t mind if its Labor Day weekend and the entire office will be gone by 2pm.” 

Such a thought gives you an option to invite something positive to the playing field.  You don’t mind that everyone will be gone, that means you’ll have nothing but peace in the halls during your moments of concluding the project.  You can enjoy a snack in the really private quarters you keep.  If you wanna stop and play a video game on the web…nobody is there to bother you.  

“I don’t mind if the car to my immediate left just cut me off on the highway.” 

When you admit that you don’t mind…it allows you to believe that maybe there’s an emergency, their child could be sick or even worse…we all have to unexpectedly use the restroom.  To dig your fingers deep into the steering wheel really does affect your breathing…if you’re brain, arms, legs and heart aren’t getting enough air, you might as well be at home downloading viruses on your computer because it’s not going to work unless its properly protected. 

“I don’t mind when co-workers decide to begin work.”

Spin all you want in your cubical chair…eventually you’re going to get dizzy.  Stop looking over your shoulder ever ten seconds and simply say, “I don’t mind that their lifestyle is blessed with a less productive approach to success.”  Preventing yourself from getting negative keeps you on the higher level.  Winning is a choice. 

What you don’t want to do is pull off a classic Arroe stunt and try to stump the parents.  Kids love to challenge us…the kick, they scream, they toss things in ways that resemble those you work with.  To say, “I don’t mind if you throw this fit,” might actually be an invitation for them to always do it.  It’s going to have to be followed with what I call a second degree black belt move, basically meaning…we learn to kick, punch and toss down on the journey toward black belt but what happens after the first step?  When you softly say, “I don’t mind…” invite a positive outcome by asking, “Why do you feel like this is your only method of letting me know you aren’t happy?  I want you to be very open with your thoughts but let’s talk it out.”

I will forever believe my mothers way of saying, “I don’t care how you feel, this is what you’re going to do…” gave me every reason to search for a happier place.  I moved to the Carolina’s in 1985…what if mom would’ve said, “I don’t mind that you’re spending every last cent on records and 8-tracks…but let me show you a smarter way to manage your dreams.” 

This, coming from a man who wanted to be looked upon as being the next Frank Lloyd Wright but settled for radio instead.  But I don’t mind…your imagination is an incredible place to paint the portraits that last forever inside the depths of theater of the mind.

rroecollins@clearchannel.com

Guess you could say I’m a professional laugher.  Big laugh, little laugh, smirk or smile, even when something isn’t funny, a giggle erupts from the invisible lining that turns all things positive. 

Positive…now that’s a word!  Some believe being positive is something you can turn on and turn off.  I hear it all the time, “Today…I’m going to be positive!”  Like most acts, the average can see through it, especially when your stage crumbles beneath your feet.  

Being positive is an attitude.  YK Kim, the Grand Master of Tae Kwon Do has spent an entire career explaining that winning is a choice.  So is having a bad day.  One of the lessons he teaches is something you can work on daily…walk over to a chair and try to pick it up.  If you pick it up, set it back down.  Now try to pick it up.  If you pick it up, set it back down.  Try to pick up the chair.  The end result is simple, stop trying to have a good day and just do it.  Sure you might feel a little under the weather but the end result is extremely positive…you have less work to do when you look upon yourself as being healed.

I love how Hillary Clinton refuses to let a few votes stand in the way of her journey.  Most would’ve given up, creating excuses as to why they can’t move forward.  Although she may never earn the opportunity to become President of the United States, her willingness to win inspires even those who aren’t fans. 

If you can’t bring your game everyday, then expect to sit on the bench.  Problem is, that invites co-workers, family members or friends to spend the rest of the day moping, the proper ingredients that feed the atmosphere with just enough poison to make the rest of the department unwilling to produce. 

I came face to face with what could’ve been a negative last night.  Because I’ve not been in Tae Kwon Do class as often as I should be, I had forgotten a valuable form that an under belt had asked me to teach.  In today’s society, too many would’ve walked away or changed the subject.  Rather than look like I should know it all, the effort I presented was to give him the reins of leadership.  I calmly asked him to teach me what he remembered.  He apologized profusely at the end of class for putting me in what he saw as an embarrassing situation.  I replied, “We are tested daily…today’s lesson is learning how to handle the act of being humble.  It was my turn to become the student and you exceeded the limits by reinforcing your passion to learn by making sure everyone would be up to speed with your efforts.” 

I’m a professional laugher…it wasn’t difficult to turn a moment of collision into something we could laugh at.  Holy cow, the second degree black belt couldn’t remember a form.  Just shows how human we really are.

The moment the weather conditions change…so do the attitudes of those who have to wade through it.  Be it rain, snow, a cold day or extremely hot…plenty of finger pointing occurs which then becomes a reason to drop the guard and halt what could’ve become a very productive day. 

John C Maxwell recently listed four qualities a leader must present in the way of having success with his team.  The biggest was having the guts to turn around and see how many are truly following.  That’s a tough thing to do.  We can’t expect everyone to believe in our dreams of leading nor can true leaders locate the right people for the positions they know would make their department become what the competition would be forced to follow. 

In essence, this would create a negative on the workforce.  Not so!  In the Artist Way At Work, Julia Cameron faults many leaders for not looking beyond the surface of the assumed.  In a room of five to ten, each person present has the strength to become a valuable piece to the winning puzzle.  Someone is always going to be a better communicator, harder hands on worker, a thinker and there’s always a loafer that can be trained how do take a baby step through positive influence more than putting them down.

If you lead by example, the trickle feeds the creative streams. 

So what happens when you’re being too positive and those who make up your team honestly can’t stand to idea of sitting close to you.  It doesn’t matter…winning is always a choice. 

arroecollins@clearchannel.com

The new Don Cheadle film Traitor poses a question I’ve never heard presented…picture two opposite men in single prison cells in Yemen, they share one religion separated by ideals that govern decisions that enforce societal changes by acts of heroism versus terrorism.  From the American moviegoer’s point of view, the assumed terrorist asks the more religious Cheadle, “Do you hear English while you dream?”  Cheadle responds, “Yes.” To which the terrorist replies, “So do I.” 

I’m not sure why that shot me off the theater course like a bolt of lightning scaring away golfers at the sound of thunder but it’s latched onto me like BBQ sauce stains your Sunday best shirt.  No matter how much Shout you pour onto the cloth, the end result is something elbow grease can’t erase.

What if what we dream isn’t English but rather a sixth sense that connects all living shapes?  Wait, that’s too easy and very X-Files like…looking at their last box office numbers that pretty much sets me back fifteen years.  Another five and I can repurchase a set of mood rings and toe socks.

Cathy Romans, Sacha Schick & Shelley Steer from Vancouver, British Columbia fronted a recent study on the thought of dreaming in English.  Is it possible for someone who doesn’t speak the language to include it during bouts with REM or within the comfy dance steps of a quick fisted catnap? 

The authors teach (ESL) English as a second language.  Their students are from the farthest corners of the world hoping to garner enough knowledge to succeed within the limits of western culture.  Cathy writes, “Let’s face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweet meats are candies while sweet breads (which are not sweet!) are meat. And skating on thin ice can get you into hot water (Franklin P. Jones, 1919).  

Is that a yes or a no?  Can someone outside our everyday travels locate English inside their dreams?  In 2003 Sara Promislow wrote, “When your mother tongue is at risk of being lost because you are in a different language environment for an extended period of time, you may become aware of the fact that it is not replaceable, that you cannot express

your “self” or your feelings in another language in the same way.”

English is everywhere right?  Is it dominating enough to shut down another nation’s roots of communication?  In 2001 these thoughts were brought to the forefront of a teaching community willing to express newer ways to be open with language, “Sometimes the presence of the native language is so obsessive and dominant that it shuts off the second language. The patterns of the first language turn into containers into which the second language has to fit itself. The process of breaking away from the confinement of the mother tongue is a painful one. It sucks out the learner’s energy and creates an

insurmountable barrier.  —Gomaa, 2001

A student from Arabia wanting to learn English writes about her classroom being filled with joy when she ran up to her teacher shouting, “I dreamt in English last night!  I dreamt in English!”  The extremely calm teacher took the student by the hand and softly asked, “What did you dream about?”  “I don’t know…it was in English.” 

New studies show that most people dream in several languages…why you don’t question it is based on what you know…if in your dreams you are a rock star on a stage placed in front of 50,000 screaming fans…you know every lyric to each song brought to life…outside your closed eyes, what are the real chances you even know what you just performed?  You don’t stop to question it…if you’re like Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones you record it then make billions of dollars.

Is this possible?  A California group calls it Dream Language.  They study these forms of dreams by recording your dream talk…the stuff you mumble while tightly wrapped in a fuzzy blanket.  People who’ve never been to a foreign country or studied their language speak it in their dreams.

The next time my boss is sharing a conversation with me…if it sounds foreign, am I to assume I could be dreaming?  Cuz you know, radio talk is a language of its own.  There for awhile when we said, “Rapping up another four in a row without talk.”  We actually meant, “How’s the family? Having a good day?  What’s for supper?  Oh by the way, the kids called and they need another DVD or you’ll be forced to watch reruns of Hannah Montana.”

arroecollins@clearchannel.com